- Human Rights and Freedoms – The American Version
The US has become rather fond of proselytising its UN list of rights and freedoms, some of whose items are valid but which is mostly fuzzy, feel-good jingoistic bullshit that the US ignores at a whim. The US once again is attempting to dictate the narrative and pre-empt all other nations, societies and cultures from participating in the creation of such a statement that truly represents humanity. What we have instead is an American list, made by Americans. It includes things they want, and excludes things they don’t want.
The list is manipulated and the terms defined so the US shines while other nations don’t. It’s a bit like the US-created lists of “The World’s Most Admired Corporations” that strangely seems to contain mostly US firms.
If the world follows this list, we are simply letting someone else dictate the narrative, accepting their terms and conditions as being the only true ones. And they aren’t the only true conditions; they are American fuzzy, jingoistic-drivel conditions that the US itself never meets, but instead uses to rush the high moral ground by pushing this drivel onto others and using it as a cheap moralistic tool of colonisation.
If the world responds to it, then we are defending ourselves against accusations that we do not meet the “standards” of those who dictate the list, meaning that our only defense is to find a way to say either (1) you don’t meet your own requirements yourself, or (2) yes, we do meet your standards. See? We are just like you. We have adopted all your values and are your clones.
What we need to do, is to say, “This is a bullshit list. We don’t subscribe to it. If these are your standards, fine. Keep them at home where they belong, and don’t try to impose them on us. We have our own standards.” The time has come to set this right.
- Human Rights and Freedoms – The Alternative Version
All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. Except niggers and Iraqis. And the guys in Guantanamo.
They are endowed with reason (except niggers) and conscience (except Muslims) and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood – as we Americans do toward niggers, Iraqis and Muslims.
No distinction shall be made on the basis of the political, jurisdictional or international status of the country or territory to which a person belongs, whether it be independent, trust, non-self-governing or under any other limitation of sovereignty. Unless, of course, you’re a godless Chinese living under a despicable one-party government that unfortunately is a hell of a lot better than ours. Exceptional distinctions will also be made if you’re a nigger, a Muslim, an Iraqi, a Libyan, an Afghan or a Jew.
Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person. Unless he gets in our way, like Martin Luther King, Khadaffi, Saddam, Julian Assange or Edward Snowdon, or those damn drug-dealing niggers. Oh, and those guys in Guantanamo and Baghram. Afghans, too.
No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms. Except for black slavery in the US and white slavery in Israel.
No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment. Really nothing to say here. “We do not torture.” G. W. Bush.
Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law. Except Bradley Manning, Julian Assange, Edward Snowdon and those guys in Guantanamo. And of course, the elites in the US have so much recognition before the law that they never actually appear before the law.
No one shall be subjected to arbitrary arrest, detention or exile. Except niggers, dissidents, Afghans, Iraqis, Muslims, and anybody else who pisses us off.
Everyone is entitled in full equality to a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal. Except (see above).
Everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty. Except (see above).
No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence. Unless the NSA needs to spy on you to protect you from the terrorism of the FBI.
Everyone has the right to freedom of movement and residence within the borders of each state. Except for people we put on a no-fly list because they pissed us off. And Edward Snowdon.
Everyone has the right to seek and to enjoy in other countries asylum from persecution. Except for Julian Assange, Edward Snowdon or anyone else who really pisses us off.
Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses. Except in Saudi Arabia where 3-year old girls can now be betrothed, but we don’t talk about that because the Saudis are on our side.
No one shall be arbitrarily deprived of his property. Unless they piss us off, in which case, whether person, company or nation, we will “sequester” all their assets without regard to law.
Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion. Except Muslims and Chinese.
Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression. Unless he proposes a Muslim-led revolution in the US. That’s different.
Everyone has the right to freedom of peaceful assembly and association. Except those who protest against the banks, Wall Street and the FED. And anything else.
Everyone has the right to take part in the government of his country. Except the 50,000 people Jeb Bush removed from the voter rolls to help get his brother elected. Mostly niggers, immigrants and other non-people.
The will of the people shall be the basis of the authority of government. Unless of course the people don’t want a war in Iraq or Libya, or if they don’t want to lose their homes to the banks, in which case the people can go to hell.
Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control. Except for the millions of Americans living in tent cities and the 3,000 people living in the storm sewers under Las Vegas. Those are “special cases”.
Motherhood and childhood are entitled to special care and assistance. This is why the US and WHO have been innoculating women of child-bearing age with a fake tetanus vaccine that renders future pregnancies impossible. cf. Nicaragua, Malaysia, the Philippines. Also except the mothers in Iraq bearing babies horribly deformed from depleted uranium munitions.
Everyone has the right to education. Most especially the 75% of Americans who can’t find their own country on a map of the world.
Education shall be directed to the full development of the human personality and to the strengthening of respect for human rights and fundamental freedoms. But they will be taught that niggers, Afghans, Iraqis, non-whites, non-Jews and other non-humans needn’t any such development. Liberal Americans, too.
Parents have a prior right to choose the kind of education that shall be given to their children. Unless they want their kid to be a Muslim infidel and terrorist.
Everyone has the right freely to participate in the cultural life of the community. Especially Bradley Manning and the guys in Guantanamo. Afghans and Iraqis don’t count, because we destroyed all the cultural life when we destroyed all the communities.
Everyone has the right to the protection of the moral and material interests resulting from any scientific, literary or artistic production of which he is the author. Rumsfeld and Cheney get to patent their torture manual and sell it in bookstores everywhere.
Everyone is entitled to a social and international order in which the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration can be fully realized. This international order shall be the New World Order as dictated by the Bilderbergers, the CFR and the Rothschilds. And you don’t have to like it.
These rights and freedoms may in no case be exercised contrary to the purposes and principles of the United Nations. Unless you’re “The Leader of the Free World”, in which case this list is moot and the UN can go fuck itself.